Adele Leahy

Location: Dublin

Bio

I love writing and making people smile. My debut romantic comedy novel, Tara Tree, is completed, and I eagerly await publication. If you can imagine Bridget Jones on acid as an eccentric mature student nurse you may begin to understand her world. Poetry is another of my passions, and many are featured on my blog, including Tech Tock and The Passing, both of which are published. Flashing Pope is a short story recently published in the www.thi-wurd.com anthology and is detailed below. It is about a very, very naughty nun. My whimsical blog features over 450 blogs designed to make you smile.

Current project

Tara Tree is part of a Trilogy with the prequel detailing Tara’s life in her twenties and thirties, before nursing, and the sequel focusing on her life in her forties following nurse training. Tara is an eccentric mature student nurse living in Dublin whilst sharing a house with five others and navigating the modern spiritual awakening with some difficulty. Talking to her salad vegetables in the fridge to stop them from going off is a favourite pastime. She believes if speaking to plants can get them to grow, then speaking to her lettuce will make it last longer. But this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Writing fiction and poetry beneath her tree in The Botanic Gardens, opposite where she lives, and walking her two dogs, Buzz and Finn, allow Tara to sustain her sobriety following reaching rock bottom from binge drinking prior to commencing her training.
One of Tara’s favourite patients ‘Paddy,’ guides Tara in her sobriety before he passes away from cancer. On occasions, she is visited by his spirit when she is writing beneath her tree. Romance has eluded Tara, but a chance meeting with a fit Garda named Cormac holds some promise. However, she is also oblivious to a secret admirer. Meeting Liam in the Botanic Gardens under very embarrassing circumstances sees their lives intertwined in a way Tara could never have thought possible. Tara is the house therapist, as her friendships mean everything to her. As she says, therapist is the only pissed she can get. Angie, one of Tara’s housemates and fellow nursing student, enters the hospital following a psychotic breakdown due to bullying by Mrs. Nevin, one of the Clinical Nurse Managers.
Deceit and paranoia threaten Tara’s sobriety and training as friendships flounder. Her best friend Molly, aka, Cockarella, ignores her because her new boyfriend says Tara is two-faced. Eventually, Paddy stops visiting her beneath her tree, and Tara re-visits her rock bottom to enter rehab.
Cormac visits Tara in the hospital with news of an S&M drug den bust in town where ‘Mrs Nevin’ has been discovered in full gimp gear with another manager from the hospital. Cormac then reveals his unusual fetish to Tara, which amicably seals the end of their relationship. Angie and Tara are discharged and welcomed home. A ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ style alcohol-free party reunites the house.
Friendships, addictions, recovery and writing, are explored through a personal lens as I have lived experience with these topics.

Writing sample

Short Story – Flashing Pope – Published in www.thi-wurd.com anthology 2023

I was 13, and it was 1983 in a boys-only Christian brother school disco called ‘The Oasis’ in Dublin. Shalimar’s ‘Make This a Night to Remember’ was playing, and I was sitting on the lap of Dave Savage as he surreptitiously fanny fiddled me. I wasn’t sure whether I liked it or not. A great uncle had done it to me when I was seven, and it never felt right. But in The Oasis that night, it didn’t matter as I liked him, the song and enjoyed my first snog. Although his tongue was a bit like a snake. There was a picture of the Pope above the DJ that was flashing from the strobe lights.
A few of the Christian brothers were milling about watching out for untoward behaviour. One of them came over to us as the savage finger was rather swiftly removed from my pants. I jumped off his lap and went looking for my friends to delight in relaying my snogging news.
Every time I see a picture of the Pope now, I think of the savage fanny fiddler and say a prayer for his well-being along with my great uncle. It sounds like a great name for a new Irish Trad band, ‘Savage Fanny Fiddler’. I tried various things throughout my life, from nursing to webcam nursing fetishism. Which incidentally was a great earner but didn’t do a huge amount for my self-esteem. The sexy nurse and nun fetish are remarkably popular online. The ones that paid the most asked for the nurse-nun hybrid. I always got a kick out of it. However, in the end, none of it nourished my soul.
Everything came full circle when I finally returned to my childhood wish of becoming a nun. I spent a month as a guest in The Abbey to see whether it was for me, followed by another six months and then one month at home to consider the new life I was about to begin finally. It’s not exactly the Nonnberg Abbey from The Sound of Music, but it is a beautiful Abbey all the same in a lovely village in County Wexford in Ireland. Sisters of Mercy is my order which incidentally was my favourite band.
This morning I attended the funeral of one of the postulants. She had been a dear friend and confidante and forever asked me to change my name from Sister Mary Felicia to Sister Mary. She knew that one of the reasons I chose it was because it reminded me of the word fellatio. She reasoned that choosing a nun’s name because it reminded me of a rude word was not very nun-like. I could see her point, but the imp in me still loved to announce my name proudly whenever asked and smile inwardly at my mental wordplay.
Whilst they were lowering the coffin into the ground, I had to stop myself from smiling. I asked Pat the Butcher earlier on this morning how he was, and he replied
‘Ah, above the ground’.
As opposed to the usual stock answer
‘Ah, I’m grand’.
I laughed as I had never heard it before. He told me that he saw it on some Irish TV programme. That was all I could think of whilst they were lowering Sr.Eustace. I think I have always used humour to deal with sad situations. To stop myself from smiling, I had to think of all the places where you could not use this response. The following came to mind -The Underground in the UK, The Metro in France, coal mining in Australia, Cave diving, Scuba diving, post-apocalypse in a bunker and at a funeral. Definitely not at a funeral.
I enjoy Lectio Divina- where we study scripture and contemplate in the library- as it stops my mind from wandering to unholy things. A picture of Pope Francis hangs above my bed as I enjoy praying to him. My niece bought me a miniature disco ball as a joke when I announced my intention to become a nun. She said that I could recreate the ‘silent disco’ atmosphere in my room when I needed a break from being so holy, and I couldn’t throw it away when I was ordained.
The magic mushroom kit that I bought online has paid dividends. They grow so well under my bed in the cool shade. Sr. Bernadette is a great pal, and I have nicknamed her ‘Cupcake’ as she loves them. Particularly the red velvet ones I make when I can have the kitchen to myself. The first time she had one, she said that eating it was like a religious experience which gave us the giggles. We get together tonight, as it is Saturday, for a catch-up after evening Mass and our seventh period of prayers. I made the cupcakes early this morning at 3 am so that the oven could cool down before I could be found out as everyone rises for first prayer at 4 am. I have added a few ‘shrooms’ as usual and cannot wait until we get off our merry tits on them, with the flashing Pope giving us his blessing and the disco light on the bible on top of my bedside locker. A mutual orgasmic fanny fiddle always prefaces our evening.

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