• The Dark Room

Self-Care by Valerie J. Deady

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Valerie J. Deady

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Just for a moment, forget the captioned “self-care” photos that you see on Instagram. You know, the ones that soak up hundreds of likes for a bathtub, a glass of wine and an ipad with a Netflix series ready to be indulged. Damn right, that´s self-care but you can trust, there is more to self-care than what you see on your newsfeed and that very action, starts with you.

Sometimes, you don´t even have to go out of your way, to care for yourself. Let´s break down the definition; self-care is the act of kindness by doing something you want, need or deserve, without anyone else doing it for you.

Self-care can be found in the very act of having a shower and washing your hair. It can be seen in the curve of your smile as you buy yourself a coffee. Self-care is printed in your heart as you allow yourself to cry. It is going to therapy. It is calling a friend for a chat or for some of you, it’s turning your phone off. Self-care lies within clearing out your wardrobe. It speaks to you while reading or listening to music. It is going for a run or doing a workout. It flourishes every time you look in the mirror and admire yourself. Whatever self-care you do, as long as you believe you deserve the act of kindness, well then, you are doing it right.

While it´s perfectly normal and healthy to post up your photos of “self-care”, you must question yourself, does your self-care lie within the act or does it lie within the likes you will get? If you answered the latter, then, that´s not self-care my friend, you are trying to fill a void within yourself by using external and short-term measures. Healing wounded and empty gaps must start from within yourself. Self-caring links arms with self-love. Self-care involves actions, self-love involves emotion and it’s very important we balance ourselves, realize when we are out of sorts and what we need to do in order to heal any old wounds. We must also be able to recognise self-hate, self-consciousness, self-loathing because identifying and acknowledging this, sheds much needed light on the darkest parts of ourselves.

“𝑰𝒏 𝒂 𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔 “𝑷𝒖𝒕 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕” 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇-𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇-𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆, 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒓𝒚”.
𝑩𝒓𝒆𝒏é 𝑩𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏
𝑹𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝑩𝒆𝒔𝒕-𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓, 𝑷𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒄 𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒓, 𝑺𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒓.

We live in a world where we exceed in putting others before ourselves and as a result, we naturally forget to take a moment and listen to our own needs. We were thought from a very young age that connecting with others and all that goes on around us is a good thing but as we practice this, we tend to disconnect from ourselves. Self-caring is about looking after you. Holding a safe space for yourself grants your need to reconnect with your body, mind and soul. Believing that you deserve love and light will do wonders for your life, it improves your positive thinking and empowers you to gain dependency for yourself. No other person, no amount of likes, no place or any materialistic thing can offer you the unlimited, boundless love that you are worthy of.

Buy yourself a coffee or make a cup of tea. Watch a movie or read a book. Have a healthy meal or get a takeout. Cry, laugh, run, dance, tell yourself you are enough and you are smart and capable and wonderful. Tell yourself you are worthy of care and kindness and remember, you are a human being.

Valerie J. Deady ©

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