Resources for Writers
Achieving Your Goals with the Wheel of Life by Andrea Hayes
Intentions are the seeds to achieving our goals, but many of us need help to harness our intentions and put them to good use. Make it your intention to create balance in your life today and lets begin by taking care of you!
Change your language
Loving yourself fully has a lot to do with the language you use about yourself. Use words to describe yourself that are positive and loving. Take note today of how many times you say negative things about yourself and make an effort to stop. Switch the words ‘I should’ to ‘I could’ or ‘I would like to’. ‘Should’ limits your choices and immediately puts pressure on you. It is a self-induced stress that you don’t need. For example, instead of saying ‘I should stay late at work to finish this project,’ try ‘I would like to clear my desk before tomorrow so I could stay on an extra hour tonight and get this done.’ Learn to say no. If you’ve been asked to do something or feel like you ‘should’ do something, ask yourself, is it something I really want to do? Learn to say no to things that are not what you want. It is important to say no to people and activities that drain you or leave you with negative energy. If you find it very hard to say no, instead of committing to things, try saying, ‘Let me get back to you on that’ – it gives you time to really consider if you want to say yes.
Put yourself first in all your relationships
IN LOVE: Remember to love yourself first and keep your unique individuality alive. You deserve and need as much of your own attention as your partner does, so instead of always thinking of your partner first remember you will be a better partner if you give yourself time for you. When you feel happy, you will make the people around you happy.
AT WORK: Are you a people pleaser? Do you like to keep the peace even if it means doing more than your share of the workload? It is an act of self-love to apply some boundaries to your work. By setting reasonable and fair expectations at work, you can relieve the unnecessary guilt of not being able to please everyone all the time.
WITH FRIENDS: Put yourself first by focusing on friendships that stem naturally from a place of joy and compatibility. When you’re surrounded by people who are similar to you, and who are equally kind and loving, you no longer need to sacrifice yourself to make the friendships work.
Get to know yourself with some ‘me’ time
We can all lose touch with who we are and we can forget the simple pleasures that make us happy. By setting a small amount of time aside each day to get in touch with yourself, you can easily re-evaluate how your day went.
Did I enjoy what I did today? Am I looking forward to anything tomorrow?
Am I being true to myself and my goals?
Did I make time for me today?
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
A big act of self-love is accepting that you cannot do everything alone and sometimes it is OK to ask for help – in fact, it can be essential. You may have been raised to believe it is a sign of weakness to look for assistance and you like to hide your flaws and imperfections. Or maybe you feel that by asking for help you are going to be a burden to others. But trust me, the people who love you will be only too happy to help and there is no shame asking for their help every now and then.
Make it your intention this month to fall in love with yourself. Pamper yourself. Do anything that uplifts your spirit. This can mean being with those you love, petting your dog or cat, going for a walk, sitting quietly by yourself – anything that puts you in a better-feeling place. Give yourself permission to do things that you love. If you can’t think of ways to pamper yourself, then we have some work to do – maybe giving yourself time is the try this act of self love and see if your life is in balance by trying the wheel of life exercise.
The Wheel of Life: An Extract from My Life Goals Journal by Andrea Hayes
Sometimes I find myself taking on additional stress when my life is out of balance – when I am not giving every area of my life equal measures of my time and attention. In today’s busy world why do we find it so hard to get the balance right? It can be hard to juggle your career, money, health, social life, family, love, home and personal life. So if you feel like you’re being pulled in any one direction, it is time to get your life aligned. I reconnect with my inner navigation system to make sure I am on the right path with a simple wheel of life exercise, which I find very useful and effective in helping me deal with the stresses and strains of life. When I am overwhelmed or out of balance and not pacing myself properly, I know it is time to take stock, anchor myself again and make sure I am going in the right direction.
The wheel of life is divided into categories that reflect different parts of your daily life and allow you to take a helicopter view of what’s happening. You can then see if you are in balance or are spending too much time on one area or another. I find it very useful when I am faced with stressful situations, as it reminds me to identify what areas need more attention and helps me to see the bigger picture in my life.
Use the following steps to create your life wheel and assess your balance. Or use the wheel in this book and fill in your own sections.
Think about the areas of life that are important to you. For our wheel here, I have chosen career, money, health, social and friends, family, love, physical environment and personal growth. If you don’t feel that all of these categories apply to you, you can draw your own wheel in the blank pages at the end of this month’s entry.
Reflect on each category and consider how much time and effort you give it. Using a scale of 0 (low) to 10 (high), write a number in each segment of the wheel to reflect the time currently devoted to this area in your life.
Some questions to ask yourself:
Career: Is your career where you want it to be by now? Are you heading in the right direction?
Money: Are you earning enough income to satisfy your current needs? Are you financially set up for future growth in wealth?
Health: How physically healthy are you? Are you satisfied with your level of fitness? Are you satisfied with your diet?
Social and friends: Are your friends supportive of you? Are you meeting friends and socialising enough? Are you having fun? Should you be spending more time meeting people and relaxing?
Family: Is your family supportive of you? Are you supportive of your family? Do you see your family enough and enjoy quality time together?
Love: Are you in love? Do you feel loved? How often do you express love to others?
Physical environment: Are you enjoying where you live? Do you live the way you want to live? Could you make better choices in the foods you buy? Are you conscious about the environment? Are you recycling?
Personal growth: Are you enjoying your life? How focused are you on personal growth? Are you satisfied with your direction? Are you trying new experiences and seeking to learn? Are you satisfied with your relationship with your spiritual being?
When you’ve answering the questions above and assessed each area of your life, think about your level of satisfaction and consider the amount of attention and focus you give each area. If an area is not currently a priority and you are not happy about that, you might give it a low score.
If you focus too much attention on an area you might give it a high score. Mark each score on the appropriate spoke of your life wheel.
Reflect on your wheel and see how balanced it is. Think about your time and how you could share it out more evenly to bring more happiness into your life in the areas that are lacking.
Are you completely out of balance in any area? You might notice that certain areas are interrelated – for instance, it can be difficult to go out socially if you don’t have money, which may link to a low career score. If you begin to improve in one area, it will have a knock-on effect on other areas, so take time to see where you can redress the balance of your wheel. Ask yourself where you could make better choices with your time and energy.
Plan for change. Identify what areas need urgent attention and write down how you can regain balance in them. Make a commitment to take steps to change your wheel of life and decide how you will transform those areas that need positive change.
(c) Andrea Hayes
About My Life Goals Journal:
These strategies worked for me and I know they can work for you too. Andrea Hayes
Do you dream of creating a change in your life but feel stuck or unsure where to start? Andrea Hayes’ inspirational and practical journal will help you clarify what you really want for the year ahead so you can begin to manifest the life of your dreams.
Inside, you will find a twelve-step strategy to help you identify your goals and focus on each one, month by month.
With space provided for monthly journaling, helpful exercises for overcoming your own personal mental blocks, and Andrea’s free hypnosis downloads designed to let you relax and access your most authentic self, this book will help you to stop drifting and form new habits that will transform your life.
A once-in-a-generation book that comes along and suddenly your whole life seems to slot into place. There’s inspiration on every page and it s brimming with wonderful, life-affirming messages you’ll want to live by. Everyone I know is getting a copy. Claudia Carroll
Andrea’s overall positivity is infectious. This book is the first page of the rest of your life. Brendan Courtney
Order your copy online here.
Andrea Hayes is an Irish broadcaster and producer whose work includes TV3’s hugely successful series Animal A&E, Dublin Airport: Life Stories and Coming Home for Christmas. She recently wrote, produced and directed a new TV series, Dog Tales with Andrea Hayes. She also guest presents TV3’s Midday and is a familiar voice on Dublin’s Sunshine 106.8.
Andrea’s bestselling book, Pain-Free Life: My Journey to Wellness, chronicles how journaling helped her to overcome her health challenges, and in My Life Goals Journal she shares the practical plan she used to create change in her life – so you can change too!
Andrea is a trained clinical hypnotherapist and Bethany Grief Minister. She lives with her husband and young daughter, Brooke, in Dublin.