Theresa Healy Rae

Canning
2012
Callann GAA Pitch
‘I can get us drink no problem, Conor Conrihan said he’d get it for me, hold on,’ Michael stated, impressing even himself with how cool he sounded.
Despite John and Sean knowing Michael was absolutely full of shit most of the time, they wanted the cans more than they wanted to tell Michael to stop being such a bragger.
‘Oya, who’s this Conor Conrihan?’ John asked suspiciously as he smoked a fag.
He’d only started smoking at the last canning session and had successfully become addicted to them to the point he’d stopped stealing one or two out of his father’s packet and had started buying them himself, even though at 16 he’d no money. Sure, they made him feel cool and there was something majestic about the burn at the back of his throat as he inhaled slowly. It made him feel giddy and alive and that was worth any money in the world.
‘He works for my dad.,’ Michael answered snobbishly as though John should have known that.
‘Oh right grand, sure what can he get us so?’
‘Sure whatever we want.’
‘I’ll have a shoulder of vodka,’ Sean joined in quickly.
‘You will yea, we’ll be trying to bring you home again and ringing Joanne.’
‘I suppose, sure what did we get the last time?’
‘You got 8 cans of Bulmers you fool and you were raving around the place,’ John answered Sean and started wrestling him to the ground. They were both weak laughing as Michael stared down at them as though they were naughty children.
‘Can ye cop on for two fucking seconds, I’m ringing him here.’
Michael rang the mysterious Conor Conrihan and asked him if he was around town and could he meet them in the alley behind Centra with 2 bottles of vodka and a few cans. The phone call was going fine until Sean decided annoying Michael would be a great idea, so he took the phone and started making sex noises down the speaker to Conor. Michael recovered quickly, punched Sean in the stomach see would he drop the phone and hung up.
‘Hey, what the fuck do you do that for, you could have hurt him?’ John roared, moving threateningly towards Michael.
‘He was the one acting the prick, sure look at him he’s absolutely fine, aren’t you Sean?’
‘Yea, I’m fine,’ Sean replied even though he was taking in big gulps of air to stem the pain in his stomach.
Michael decided he better distract from this current situation before John got any crosser.
‘So, who are we going to get off with tonight?’
‘I’m not telling you; you’d only go after her then,’ John replied through a cloud of smoke.
‘As if, Clare Hegarty isn’t exactly my type.’
‘How do you know it’s Clare I’m talking about?’
‘Sure everyone knows you’re mad for her. I’m not blind like, you’re like a lovesick puppy, isn’t he Sean? Following her to her locker, skipping people to be behind her in the queue at lunch, it’s sick. You’d want to cop on, we’re too young for all that. Unless it’s just sex you’re after, that would make some sort of sense.’
This bothered John, not that he was going to show it to Michael. He’d thought he’d been very inconspicuous in his new infatuation with Clare Hegarty. He wasn’t sure she liked him but there was just something about her. It started when they were put sitting next to each other in class and John found he could make her laugh and making her laugh was like a drug. It filled him up.
Then they’d started talking before and after their classes in the corridor and even though his locker was nowhere near hers, he’d go with her. He would carry all the books he needed the whole day long so that he would get those few extra minutes with her.
Michael was wrong about skipping the queue at lunch though. He only did that because he was absolutely starved all day long and had the appetite of a horse. Not that it made any difference to him. He could eat what he wanted and still beat Michael up and down the pitch. Fuck it though, if Michael had seen through him, maybe Clare had too? Was he only making a fool of himself? Had she any interest at all? And of course he was after sex, he was a sixteen-year-old lad who’d never had it before.
Of course, Michael loved to regale them every Monday morning about what older girl he’d been with that weekend. Girls seemed to flock to Michael, not that any of them interested John. Those girls were too easy. He could have had them if he wanted. Even Sean could have had them if he wanted and Sean was the last person to make a move on a girl. He was too nice for his own good. Girls only looked at him as a best friend, not a boyfriend.
He’d shifted three girls in total from the height of perseverance on the part of Michael and John. They’d all but had to pull him from the gents at their first disco and walk him up to the girl they’d arranged for him because there wasn’t a hope he’d have the balls to arrange it himself. He wasn’t gay, he was just cripplingly shy and scared girls would laugh him off. There was no beast as bad as a bitchy girl in Sean’s mind and John couldn’t help but agree with him.
John had had a few girlfriends up through the years, not as many as Michael of course but a respectable number. But they were all nothing. He couldn’t actually have a conversation with any of them. That’s what threw him about Clare; he could talk to her all day.
‘Look at him now, daydreaming about Clare, oh la la,’ Michael teased and Sean laughed.
‘Shut up.’
‘Thinking about how to get her wet are you John?’
Sean didn’t laugh this time. For the second time in the space of ten minutes, John was bearing down on Michael ready to hit him and Sean pushed them apart.
‘Will you relax for fuck’s sake, it was a joke,’ Michael said defensively. John just glared at him.
‘Hold a minute, he’s ringing.’
As Michael apologised profusely to Conor on the phone and told him that yes they’d have their money ready, Sean spoke to John in whispers.
‘Do you think you’ll shift her tonight John?’
‘I don’t know, do you think she would?’
John wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable in front of Sean, he knew he wouldn’t say a word to Michael. It made no sense their friendship because it was always them against Michael.
‘I do John, honestly, I do. She’s a nice girl. I’ve a few classes with her. I like her, she’s funny.’
‘Oh shit, I didn’t realise you liked her too.’
‘No Jesus no, not like that, I only meant I like her as a friend. No no, don’t think that lad.’
‘Oh right.’
‘No, it’s actually someone else I like.’
‘Oya, here have a fag.’
John passed over one of his prize possessions to Sean, interested to see would he tell him who mystery girl was.
‘Yea, Sarah Moran, you know her?’
‘I do I’d say, is she the brown haired one? Small one?’
‘Yea her yea.’
‘Oh right, is she nice?’
‘Yea.’
‘Who’s this now?’ Michael asked.
The lads hadn’t realised he was behind them and listening.
‘No one, forget it.’
‘Oh, fine so, ye two love birds whisper away, I’ll fuck off.’
Michael knew he had the upper hand. He was the only one of them with a car and he was their only hope of getting drink. Sean gave in first naturally.
‘It’s nothing, just this girl is all-’
‘We were talking about Clare and I told you already to mind your own business.’
‘No ye weren’t, I’m not a fucking dope. Who is it Sean?’
‘Sarah Moran. Nothing’s happened obviously, probably won’t either.’
‘I know her.’
‘Course you do, I suppose you rode her forty times did you?’ John sneered.
‘Jesus no,’ Michael responded quickly with a hint of disgust, then he saw the look on Sean’s face. ‘No not like that, she’s a fine girl but she’s like a sister to me is all. I used to go to her house after school when Mom was still working. This was ages ago now like. Still though, it would be like getting with my sister.’
‘You know her well so?’ Sean asked hopefully.
‘Yea, yea, I do, will I ask her would she shift you?’
‘Ah I don’t know, she’ll probably say no.’
‘So what if she does, it’s only a shift and if she says no, you’re no worse off than you are now. You’ve nothing to lose, I’ll ask her. To be honest I think she would.’
‘Really?’
‘Yea I do. Fuck that’s him ringing again, he must be nearly here.’
With that the lads got their drink off Conor who looked like a man on death’s doors after fresher’s week in college. They sat into Michael’s Altezza and opened their cans. The smell of Africa Lynz was stifling, along with the damp coming from Michael’s gear bag but the lads didn’t care. They blared Kings of Leon as they zoomed around the town twice to see what was going on. They were high on life as they landed to the far side of the GAA pitch where there were no CCTV cameras, for a type of night they thought would last forever. Getting old wasn’t going to happen to them.
Clare’s mom had dropped her to Jane’s house thinking her little girl was going to spend the night in her pyjamas watching movies with her friend and eating sweets. Instead, Clare was going to spend the night running around in the pitch dark, getting drunk on cans and kissing boys in the ditches and against trees.
Clare and Jane had discovered the freedom of being young women during their summer in the Gaeltacht and had since spent every night out trying to outdo each other on the shifting tally. This was getting easier and easier for Clare though because her best friend was slowly but surely becoming obsessed with Michael Sheridan, like every other girl he paid any attention to. The problem was he was paying attention to Jane. Too much attention, in Clare’s opinion. Jane had already nearly walked into two trees from the height of looking down at her phone as they made their way down the alley behind Jane’s estate to the pitch.
Clare had no intention of turning into a sap like Jane. She was happy being a free young woman doing what she liked with whoever she liked. She enjoyed flirting and she thought she was getting pretty good at it. She wondered whether John Callaghan would be there tonight. She had toyed with asking Jane to ask Michael but that would have been way too obvious. She’d just have to see.
Eventually Jane put the phone away and they concentrated on getting through the last narrow stretch of nettles. The two girls started giggling about nothing. High on the buzz of their three swigs of vodka from Jane’s mother’s drink cupboard. They fixed each other before walking into the opening in the forest where they knew everyone would be. Jane patted down Clare’s hair, told her her Abercrombie jumper was fab and that her make-up looked lovely. Clare told Jane she was an absolute bitch for looking as good as she did and the two of them linked arms and walked nervously on.
Clare spotted Sean Healy first. He was easy to talk to and always a laugh. She hadn’t known him at all until second year, but she now stood behind him in the line. They’d gotten into the habit of having a chat and a laugh as they stood waiting every morning.
Herself and Jane wangled over to him and Clare could sense Jane was getting more and more self-conscious with every step. She glanced around her constantly trying to spot Michael. Clare continued on, not having much time for this whole Michael scenario at all. She was much more interested in having a laugh with Sean.
No sooner had she approached him, he’d given her one of his Bulmer’s cans which were like gold dust, and they stood laughing about Mrs. Prendergast earlier that day telling them a story from the ‘Book of Genitals’ and quickly amending to the ‘Book of Genesis.’
Clare could hardly breathe listening to Sean imitate her. He was a shy lad but he was never shy with her and she liked that. She had been worried as they got closer and closer as friends that maybe he might think there was something there, but he’d never given her any cause to cool away from him. They were just friends and no matter how much everyone teased them and said, “you can’t be friends with the opposite sex,” they were the exception to the rule.
‘Who did you come with Sean?’
‘Oh, the lads sure.’
Fuck him anyway thought Clare, why couldn’t he be specific?
‘If you’re wondering if John is here, he is and look, maybe I shouldn’t say it but he was asking about you earlier.’
Clare blushed, she couldn’t help herself.
‘Oh right.’
She looked away from him, pretending to be looking for Jane. She was excited. She barely knew John and she’d no notion of getting into something serious, but still, there was just something.
‘Here, what do you know about Sarah Moran?’
‘Fuck all Sean to be honest, I don’t really know the girl. I have Home Ec. with her. That’s about it. She went to a different primary school to me. Why?’
Clare poked him teasingly.
‘Hi! Say nothing you! John’s over there sitting down by the way and I’m pretty sure he’s giving me daggers here for talking to you.’
‘He is in his arse. Anyway, I’m not walking over to him,’ Clare said proudly.
‘Why not?’
‘Because I’m the girl.’
‘What?’ Sean replied, genuinely sounding confused.
‘Look …’ Clare began frustrated, realising how pathetic she was starting to sound, ‘if he wants to talk to me, I’m sure he will. I better go find Jane, talk to you later Sean, if you’re not too busy with Sarah Moran that is.’
He laughed as she stuck her tongue out at him. If only he could talk to other girls the way he could talk to Clare, he’d save himself a lot of hassle. Michael had gone over to Sarah as soon as they’d landed and now all he could do was wait and see whether the girl would or wouldn’t. He didn’t like the fact he needed his friends to approach girls for him. But it was that or go near no girl at all.
*
‘Go on you will, for me?’
Michael was staring at her as though she were the most precious thing in the world. He had ignored her completely for the past five years, but he’d walked straight across the clearing calling out her name, pulling her into a hug. Quickly of course, he’d made it clear why he was paying her any attention at all; he wanted her to shift his friend.
‘I don’t know, I don’t know him.’
‘Sure what has that got to do with it, it’s only a fucking shift.’
She didn’t want to do it, she knew full well who Sean Healy was and even though she was sure he was a nice lad, he wasn’t Michael and it was Michael she wanted. It was Michael from the first. He was the only person she wanted to be around, which made it all the more painful when he’d stopped being her friend all that time ago. She should be angry with him for coming over to her at all, considering how horrible he’d been but she couldn’t help herself. Any attention from him was better than nothing, even if it meant shifting someone just to keep him happy.
‘You’re not frigid, are you?’
‘What! No, I’m not-’
‘Great so you’ll do it. I’ll tell him now.’
Before she could stop him, he’d gone over to Sean and she saw it all happen before her eyes. Sean smiled excitedly as Michael whispered in his ear and Sarah hadn’t the heart to kill the poor lad’s hopes. It was only a shift after all, she’d get over it. He wasn’t a bad looking lad anyway.
Michael and Sean walked over to her and awkwardly Sean took her hand and led her away from the crowd. Michael called out ‘use protection’ and roared laughing.
‘Don’t mind him, he’s just being a prick.’
‘Yea, I know.’
‘You having a good night?’
‘Yea, grand out.’
She couldn’t help but notice how tall he was up close and strong. He was quite handsome actually but she’d never noticed because she’d always been looking at Michael.
The only thing was he was awful shy. It wasn’t like she was the queen of small talk but it was up to the lad to make the moves and keep the conversation going but when they stopped walking, he just stood there waiting for her to move towards him. This totally threw her. It was always the lad that made the move.
Eventually, she forced herself towards him and finally he pulled her in closer and pushed the hair away from her face. It was awful intense the way he stared at her and it unsettled her. This meant something to him. This wasn’t just a shift for him.
Finally, he kissed her. She was surprised how good a kiss it was. He pulled her closer and closer and it was overpowering. His hands went up and down her back and when he finally stopped, she couldn’t help but feel a bit dizzy.
They made their way back to everyone else with stilted talk. Sarah’s head was completely thrown. She’d enjoyed it. He was a good kisser. He was attractive. He could really be something and yet all she could imagine as she enjoyed the most passionate moment of her young life so far, was Michael.
*
‘I am not drunk, how dare you? You don’t even know me,’ Clare shouted at John.
Even she could tell, despite being drunk, that she was talking very loudly. He exhaled.
‘I’m just saying will you have a sup of water instead of another can for five minutes and sit down.’
God but could he curse Sean. He’d gone off with Sarah and left his cans to Clare and Jane. But then Jane had fucked off with Michael and while John waited to go over to Clare, he’d waited too long.
He knew he was being a coward but she was looking so beautiful. Not that she didn’t always look beautiful, but everyone seemed to gather near her tonight. Like moths to a flame. Despite glancing over every five seconds, she was never on her own and before he knew it the girl had downed five cans and was dancing a little too closely and too enthusiastically around the fire with all the drugees. He had to step in then.
He brought her over to the wall near the water and sat her down. He sat next to her. To be fair the girl wasn’t drunk, but she wasn’t sober either and them fucking drugged eejits knew it.
‘Why did you wait?’
‘What?’
‘Why did you wait to come over?’
‘I don’t know-’
‘Why?’
‘I was fucking nervous alright,’ John replied, exacerbated.
‘No need to fucking shout, it was only a question.’
Now he was the one being over the top.
‘Sorry look-’
‘I’m joking you fool.’
They laughed then.
‘I wanted you to come over, you know.’
‘Oh, I did want to, I just …’
‘I know I understand. Do you like me?’
‘Yea I do.’
‘I like you too.’
He smiled at her then, all awkwardness gone.
‘So, are you going to kiss me or what John?’
‘Are you going to kiss me?’
‘It seems like I’ll have to-’
He interrupted her and kissed her lightly on the lips. She opened her eyes to see him smiling at her.
‘Before you say anything that isn’t it, come here.’
He pulled her up to stand and guided her over to a tall oak. He pinned her against it and she giggled. He bent down to kiss her urgently this time and she responded the same. There was something different about him alright. He could have asked her to do anything in that given moment and she would have said yes. She had never been like that with anyone else. She fiddled with the zip on his hoody and seemed to get lost in him. Buckles were opened, hands went everywhere but not too much. He was the perfect gentleman asking her in heated whispers was it okay.
‘Oh, shit sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.’
Sean turned his back grinning, having found his two friends. He’d the good sense to turn around as they battled with zips and buttons laughing at each other as they did so. John dropped one more kiss onto her lips before telling her they’d do this again. John walked her over to Sean, not letting go of her hand. He didn’t care what anyone thought. He was going to hold her hand until she let it go.
‘Did I interrupt something?’ Sean asked laughing.
‘You know well you did you thick fucker.’
The three of them laughed and teased each other back to the make-shift bonfire. Michael said he was leaving with Jane and if they wanted lifts home, they’d better come on. Clare and John bundled in happily. Sean hesitated and went to find Sarah.
‘I’m heading away now, I’ll see you in school?’
Sean said it as a question, a veiled hope that they’d do this again. Sarah still didn’t know how she felt about it. She liked him but maybe not enough.
‘Yea, I’ll be seeing you.’
With that he left almost bounding down the gravel path to the sound of Biggie Smalls blaring from the car. I’ll be seeing you, was that a promise, he wondered?