Bernie McQuillan, who was twice shortlisted for Date with An Agent. will be presenting at this year’s Insider’s Guide to Publishing.
‘This is a thriller,’ she says. ‘Interesting concept. Love the location. But the writing needs to be sharper.’ She lifts her head from my submission to look at me. ‘You’ve got to keep the readers on the edge of their seats until the last page. Can you do that?’
I am in a Moroccan-style tent, somewhere down the back where black curtains separate the space into booths. It’s dark, there are people wearing lanyards, holding clipboards and ticking off our names like we might still be rejected for the imposter writers we are. We wait nervously in line, whispering to one another: who are you seeing, what are you working on, what’s your name? I’ll look them up later to check their real-writer status, their lists of publications. Most of them are just like me, starting out, waiting in the wings for our call. Going on stage is a weird feeling when you prefer writing the play to acting in it. And when the spotlight shifts and the curtain swings back, and the lanyard person waves me forward, I’m on a precipice. There is only one way to go. I step into the light.
Why I’m Here
I’m here because I dared to believe my story has legs. I’m here because of the hours of scribbling, the tortured walks toying with these characters in my head, learning their worst secrets and watching how they treat their best friends. I’m here because I can’t forget what happened one summer. I’m here because I submitted my 1500 words, my 500-word synopsis and my ‘author biography’. This last bit is the hardest of all. Do I even believe I am a writer? Does my flash fiction, the single published short story in the journal mean anything other than they needed something to fill their pages? My hand hovers over the submit button, thinking about Hemingway (‘there is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down and bleed’) and Bukowski (‘unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don’t do it’) and I think ‘yes, yes it is and I will keep going even if I don’t get selected this time’.
And when my agent slot is over, I emerge into the all-day talks by debut writers, publishers and experienced authors and they all say, this is where it starts. Follow your heart, put in the effort, share your work, learn from feedback, edit and re-edit and you will build confidence. And even though I am in this tent and far from home, I feel at ease among these writers.
So, dear reader, what happened to the thriller? Well, it got waylaid by another story, or maybe I lacked the nerve to keep the taut pace throughout. Whatever it was, I’m ready for it now, to face the darkness and the light all over again.
(c) Bernie McQuillan
https://www.berniemcquillan.com
Bernie McQuillan will be presenting at this year’s Insider’s Guide to Publishing.
About The Lobster Pot by Bernie McQuillan:
Kitty lay on the forest floor for a long time, her body adapting to the rocks beneath the grass. She was in no hurry to go home. Tommy wouldn’t be looking for her. He would go straight to bed, counting down the nights until he could escape Rathmore and her, his rotten roots. He never asked her about her own life and ambitions, never assumed she wanted anything more than to snare a local man and have his babies.
She dreamt the hut he had built for his old trysts was still there, among the roots and the boat engines and the decaying yew trees. She saw the shovels in their usual place, leaning against the wall. She knew there would be no need for consecrated ground.
Three decades later, Kitty returns to her childhood home to find her village as twisted as she found it. She needs to find her brother, without getting entangled. But how do you remember what you’ve tried to forget?
Order your copy of The Lobster Pot by Bernie McQuillan online here.
And see here for Bernie on the writing of The Lobster Pot.
