Rom com author Kim Nash thinks it’s really important to find your tribe in life and talks about how some of her friendships inspired her to write her latest novel Sunshine and Second Chances.
I feel that it’s really important when you are an author to find people that ‘get’ you! Lots of people in everyday life don’t get what being a writer is about. I suppose, in fairness, why would they?
I’ve had a range of comments from ‘are you going to be the next JK Rowling then?’ (no pressure there!) to ‘yes, I keep saying that I’m going to write a book too.’ From ‘why can’t you sell as many books as that million copy bestselling author?’ (oh that’s a good idea, why didn’t I think of that,’ to ‘oh, you’re only published in ebook then, what a shame you’re not a proper author.’ Oh and don’t forget the people who say ‘oh, I’d write a book if only I had the time!’
People, I’m sure, don’t mean to be offensive but some comments can be quite hurtful. And yes, I know as an author you have to have a thick skin, after all you are putting your work out there in the world for people to read and comment on. I’ve even been told of comments that people have made about me that have said ‘oh it’s ok for her, she’s only been published because she works for a publisher!’ Yet my writer friends understand that there’s actually more pressure on me to be publishable because I do work for a publisher.
These are all reasons why I feel it’s important to find those friends who really ‘get’ you.
- Friends who you can call up, when you’re feeling like you are the worst writer in the world, and tell you to get over yourself and stop your pity party and just sit your backside on a chair, put your hands on your keyboard and get back to it.
- Friends who you can go away with for a weekend, holed up in a barn conversion and who don’t care if you are obsessed by a character and feel the need to talk about them. Those same friends who you can talk over plot holes and character arcs and who offer genuine advice because they want to help you to write the best book that you can write.
- Friends who don’t care that you can’t get out of your pyjamas till after lunch (if at all) because you need to get as many words written or understand why you cancel appointments you’ve made because you need to keep on writing, while you are ‘in the flow!’
- Friends who will shout about your book from the rooftops because they are immensely proud of you and what you have achieved, and will share everything you are posting on social media, and not be jealous because you might have achieved something that they have not.
- Friends who love books and message you all the time they are reading yours, saying ‘OMG I can’t believe *** did that!’ ‘And I never thought that would happen!’
- Friends who want to celebrate with you, the fact that you’ve become a published author and are delighted that your dreams have come true.
In many of my book reviews, readers comment that I write about wonderful friendships and how special those relationships are. I find this reasonably easy, because I have amazing
friends from my areas of my life. This really hit home with me, when I celebrated my debut novel with a small group of friends, from different areas of my life, who all came together to celebrate my special achievement. There were my friends from book club, who mixed with friends who I’ve known for years, celebrating with neighbours and other newer friends that I’ve met and just gelled with over more recent years. My friends are brave, kind and inspiring on a daily basis and they’re the friends who inspired me to write Sunshine and Second Chances which is my latest novel.
In this novel, Liv arranges a holiday together for her and her three friends, 29 years after they vowed to spend their 50th birthdays together. Her friends can’t wait to escape with her: Debs is newly single, Fiona is caring for her mum, and Samantha is grieving. Like in life, they all have issues which they’re trying to work through but through their rock-solid friendship, there is nothing that they can’t talk about and can’t tackle in an effort to help each other life their best life.
My advice would be:
- Form strong friendships and spend time with people you really want to spend time with and who want to spend time with you. Don’t force a friendship.
- Accept that sometimes friendships run to the end of their time. Certain people, I believe are meant to be in your life at the right time. People change and grow, sometimes in different directions. That’s ok!
- Find friends who love being your cheerleaders. Why wouldn’t you want your friends to succeed? Be their cheerleader.
- You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Choose those people wisely.
- To have good friends you need to be a good friend.
(c) Kim Nash
About Sunshine and Second Chances:
Liv wants her friends to think she has the perfect life. But honestly? She’s running on empty. Desperate from a break from her needy family, Liv is determined that as she and her three life-long friends turn fifty they will honour their promise to each other – made on a beach at sunrise twenty-nine years before – to celebrate this milestone together.
And what better place to celebrate than a gorgeous villa in the Algarve? They’ll enjoy the stunning beaches, picturesque fishing towns and glorious climate, and maybe be spoiled by the gorgeous Eduardo, who’s making one particular heart unexpectedly flutter…
Liv’s friends can’t wait to escape with her: Debs is newly single, Fiona is caring for her mum, and Samantha is grieving. But does time away make the heart grow fonder? Is the thought of returning to reality too hard to bear? Is what they have really all there is to life?
It begins as a reunion in the sunshine, but little do the four friends know what life-changing decisions they’ll all be making before their flight home…
A heart-warming, feel-good summer read about friendship, love and second chances.
Order your copy online here.