A message of hope for the New Year from writer and comedian Orla Doherty . . .
When I was 22, I emigrated to the United States, having won a green card in the Irish lottery. Having applied in April 1993, I got the letter of acceptance in July, and set off for sunny San Francisco in August of the same year. That’s a fairly quick transition given that I had a job in Dublin, a studio apartment, a ‘sort-of’ girlfriend (mostly just someone to confirm that I was gay), and family who were used to having me around. Thank God I didn’t have a pet – I probably would NOT have left. It’s easier to leave people behind, I find.
I learned the gift (or curse) of impatience early on. Living in America, I settled into a fast-paced life where things evolved quickly for me. My first job as a night-shift security guard in Hewlett Packard, saw me escalating from Base Roving Officer, to Site Supervisor within three months. When I moved to Las Vegas a year later, I became a District Operations Manager at Pinkerton Security with a Private Investigator side gig. After realising I was not cut out for any of these jobs, I returned to the sport of squash which had served me so well as a child, and I began coaching. Over the course of 20 years, I held Head Coaching positions at universities and prestigious private clubs, even being selected to coach the national junior team at the Pan American games in 2002.
Things always happened very quickly for me. Was it because I was just good at what I applied my mind to, or was it all pure luck? Was the universe teaching me about impatience? Was she grooming me into expecting things to happen immediately throughout my life?
I moved back to Ireland in 2015 after several family members started to die off. One would think after living for 22 years in the US, that the giant decision of moving back to a completely different Ireland, would take some time and reflection. Not me. Once I’d made up my mind, that was that. I was home within 3 months, leaving behind a job and a life full of friends. I DID bring my two dogs with me. (Never ever leave your pets behind).
My writing journey began in 2021, when I found writing.ie and joined the Facebook group Writers Ink. My writing background was comprised of silly stories, funny ditties, all of which I only ever shared with my immediate family. I met my new tribe in this group. And I embraced knowing that I was a comedy writer. After a few months, I decided to write a blog and created my own web-site. I began writing and sharing the stories of my life through humour. I began writing my memoir. I started writing a novel. I entered writing competitions and submitted stories to online magazines. And I got lots of rejections. Lots. But I kept entering, until one day I got a note to say that one of my memoir stories would be published. I knew it! I knew I just had to keep persevering. Where did this silent ‘inside’ arrogance come from? Was it stubborn-ness, or perseverance? I began noticing a shift in my behaviour.
This grind, at first, killed me. Why were things not happening for me IMMEDIATELY? I showed up at book festivals, writing groups, continued to enter competitions with wild abandon, and one day I was selected to read the first page of my novel at the Cork Book Festival.
I kept writing my blogs, I kept writing my novel, and I finished my memoir. And then, thanks to Vanessa in writing.ie writers’ ink, and my new pal Val Troy (also a comedy writer), I got an agent. Wow, little old me with silly stories and dirty ditties got an agent. Was it luck? Was it because I am good at writing? I doubted myself, but I jumped on the opportunity.
Hurray! My memoir will be published within 6 months, I told myself.
That was almost two years ago.
Can you sense my pain? Can you feel my frustration? Are you cringing with awkwardness for me?
Don’t. What I have learned over the last 18 months is the beautiful truth that Patience is in fact, a virtue to be reckoned with. My agent, Nicky Lovick, has been working extremely hard on my behalf. Sure, I’ve had some ‘no’s’, but I’ve also had some maybes! I’ve learned about the importance of waiting. My mentor Maria McHale not only watered and nurtured a growth of courage in me, but she’s also instilled in me the real meaning of TIMING.
It’s everything. And while I sit and wait, I am not being quiet. I am persevering and pushing my boundaries. I am constantly looking for ways to improve myself through courses and new activities. While I AM WAITING, I AM BUILDING. I’ve accepted that in order to be successful, I must work hard, keep writing, keep believing, and be patient. I’m no longer that edgy 22-year-old who clicked her fingers and stormed her way through life. I’m a tolerant and – dare I say – ‘mature’ 53-year-old who is enjoying this journey, taking in the beautiful scenery along the way. I have not slowed down, just down-graded my tornado to a strong and steady wind that still pushes me towards my goals.
Some might say I’m full of wind. Maybe I am. But I will happily trade the lightning-fast concord I once flew on, missing out on all the beauty along the way, for my new hot-air balloon cruising on the wings of PATIENCE.
(c) Orla Doherty
Find Orla Doherty on Instagram here.
And read more from Orla on Writing.ie here.
